Out of habit, Gio had clicked the TV on in his room as he walked in. Halfway through rushing to change into his swim trunks, the words of the reporter on the television hit him like a bolt, and he grabbed the remote, clicking record like he had back home anytime something about this aired.
“Felicita Morales, the widow of Trinidad Morales gave birth today to a baby girl, Trini Morales, named after the father she’ll never get to meet. Trinidad, who lost his life just over a month ago in the ring after a blow to the head during a fight that burst an aneurism in his brain, was only twenty-two when the tragedy occurred.”
Gio went numb. He stared at the screen as they went into detail retelling the story of the fight, Trinidad’s death, and the ongoing investigation of the physician who released him to fight. He picked up the remote, turning up the volume as the cameras zeroed in on Trinidad’s father, who was being interviewed at the hospital. He spoke solemnly about the birth of his granddaughter. “It’s a bittersweet day for our family,” the reporter translated from Spanish, “even though we are very happy that God blessed us today with a part of my son.” The man’s eyebrows pinched, and he brought his hand to his mouth unable to hold back the emotion.
Gio felt the anguish in his own heart as the man tried to continue speaking, and suddenly he felt himself struggling to hold back tears as well.
“My son was so happy when he found out he was going to be a father.” The man went on even as the tears ran down his face.
Gio immediately thought of Noah and how horrible it would be lose him. To leave Roni behind with a baby that would never know him would be even more devastating.
The reporter went on to say that mother and daughter were doing well and that they would most likely be released from the hospital tomorrow then moved on to the next story.
The knock at his open door came just as Gio rewound the story, and he gulped hard, not wanting Bianca to see the emotion he was feeling.
“Hey,” he said, unable to even look at her, so he hit play and watched the TV instead.
“You okay?” She stood next to him and watched silently as the entire story replayed. As soon as it was over, Gio rewound it again. Just like the other stories he watched over and over again back home, he thought maybe he’d grow immune to the fact that Trinidad’s entire family and now his fatherless daughter were still mourning the loss of the family member he had killed.
He hit play again as he stared at the screen, gulping hard because the emotion was not going away.
“Gio, stop.” Bianca’s voice was cautious. “Why are you gonna watch it again?”
“Can you give me a minute?” he asked, still staring at the screen.
“Remember what we talked about? It’s not your fault. It’s sad, but—”
“Bianca, please!” His words were louder than he’d intended, and he felt her flinch, so he finally turned to her, lowering his voice. “I just need a minute.”
She nodded and without another word walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Gio watched the whole thing a few more times then finally threw the remote on the bed. The temptation to turn the lights off, sit in a corner, and lock everyone out again, like he had just after this first happened was overwhelming.
The knocking on the door again made Gio frown. He didn’t want Bianca to see him like this. He could feel himself getting pulled back into that same darkness he’d been in for weeks after Trinidad’s death, and he didn’t want her to know how fucking weak he could be.
Instead of telling her to come on in, he walked to the door, ready to tell her he was calling it a night—say he wasn’t feeling well and he would just take a pill or something and go to bed. He opened the door, and Bianca stood there holding a tray. On the tray were two bowls of ice cream with all the trimmings.
“I thought you might be in the mood.” She gave him the most adorable hopeful look as she waited for his response.
Gio smiled, wishing now that she wasn’t holding a tray between them because he was overcome with an incredible urge to hug her—hold her like he had all day and never let her go. She was his magic pill: the one thing that brought light into his darkness. Because of her, he’d barely even thought of Trinidad the whole time he’d been here until tonight.
“Yeah, ice cream actually sounds perfect right now. Thank you.” He leaned in a little closer. That same familiar warmth he felt when he was around her was already pushing away what he’d been feeling just before he opened the door. “I’d kiss you if I could,” he whispered, and her eyes did that thing that drove him insane. “I swear to God, Bianca, if you lick your lips, I will kiss you. I don’t care where we are.”
She giggled. “Don’t tempt me.” Gio dropped his head back with a groan and she laughed. “You wanna eat it here or in the kitchen?”
Having Bianca in his bedroom all to himself was way too dangerous. Reminding himself that he’d already come to the conclusion that he’d be willing to risk it all for her, he decided he didn’t trust himself. “I think the kitchen would be safer.”
She smiled, turning around and he walked after her. The tray was set on the counter, and they each took a bowl and a spoon. Gio dug in immediately then watched and waited as she took her first spoonful, making that face she did whenever anything was delicious. “Why do you do that?” he asked, exasperated.
Instantly her eyes went into Bambi mode. “Do what?”
Gio laughed, shaking his head. “Never mind.”
“No, do what?” She insisted.
He leaned his hip against the counter, taking another spoonful of ice cream before responding in a hushed voice. “Make that expression whenever something feels or tastes really good.” He glanced around wondering just where the damn cameras were and placed the spoon strategically over his mouth on the off chance Felix could read lips. “Like you’re enjoying a hell of an orgasm.” He laughed at her shocked expression. “It’s scandalous.”
“I do not.”
“Oh, yes, you do. That expression of yours haunts my dreams.” He paused when that reminded him of something. “Speaking of.” He used the spoon to shield his lips again. “Now that we’re safely somewhere where I have no choice but to behave, you wanna tell me about those dreams you’ve been having?”
Gio decided earlier that maybe he did want to know exactly what she was dreaming of. It’s what he planned on asking tonight before the newscast of Trinidad’s baby interrupted his thoughts. He didn’t think he’d get any sleep from wondering if he didn’t ask.
Bianca blushed just slightly, and he wondered if that meant the dreams weren’t too explicit. But as usual, she surprised him yet again. “They’ve all been different, but you remember what Evelyn said she wanted you to do to her?” He nodded slowly, their eyes now locked like they’d been doing so much of lately. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I finally dreamed you did that to me.”
Gio swallowed hard, turning his body to face the counter to hide the evidence of his rapidly growing affection for Bianca from any cameras. “And you woke up content?”
“Very.” The sexy siren was back, and he nearly gasped at the wicked smile. “I do every time.”
“I see.” He nodded, trying to appear as unfazed about this conversation as she was. How the hell did she do it? Sweet, innocent, little Bianca—but from what he was hearing and seeing and from what he’d witnessed all day, maybe she wasn’t as innocent as he made her out to be. Could this girl get any hotter? “What else have I done to you in your dreams?”
She licked her lips, causing Gio to straighten up with a jerk. “Don’t do that,” he blurted out.
“Oh.” She touched her lips with her fingers. “Right, I’m sorry.”
Bambi replaced the siren in an instant and Gio had to laugh. “It’s okay. Just don’t do it again. What else?”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about,” she gestured toward his bedroom, “you know, what you were watching?”
Gio lifted his eyebrows, amazed that just being in the same room with her watching her so closely, listening to her talk about the fantasies about him could put him on such a cloud that even the reminder of Trinidad had no effect on it. “Seriously?” He took a few steps closer to her. “You’re asking me if I’d rather talk about Trinidad than hear about the wet dreams you’ve been having of me?”
They were locked in one of their moments again. The corners of her lips began to slowly curve upward. Sexy siren was back and nothing excited Gio more.
Music once again interrupted their moment. Only this time it didn’t come in the form of a mariachi band outside. It was coming from her robe pocket, reminding Gio she wore nothing but her bathing suit underneath. He could’ve been sitting in the hot tub with her right now having wine instead of standing in the kitchen eating ice cream like the wuss that he was.
Bianca pulled the phone out of her pocket, and now Gio could make out a song he’d heard somewhere before. She held up the phone, showing a picture of her grandmother on the screen as the lyrics to the song became clearer.
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.
“That’s Nana’s song to me.” She smiled, then pouted. “I need to get this and I’ll probably be a while. I haven’t talked to her or my mom in over a day. That’s unheard of.” She opened her eyes wide playfully. “I’ll have to catch them up. Plus I still have that seminar I absolutely need to watch.”
“That’s okay,” he said, hiding the disappointment. “We have tomorrow.”
Bianca answered but asked her grandmother to give her a second then held the phone to her chest and whispered, “I already miss you.”
God, what he’d give to be able to kiss her that very moment. “I miss you too,” he whispered back, and those incredible eyes of her brightened. She waved her pretty fingers at him before walking away and mouthing the words, “Good night.”
Gio took a very big deep breath before setting his bowl of half-eaten ice cream in the sink. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.
*
They lay in a meadow. It looked very different than the one Bianca had taken him to because there was no snow, only grass and flowers in every color. Gio was certain it was still the same one. He lay there next to her, his weight on his elbow while his other hand stroked her hair as he stared into her eyes. “I wanna kiss you,” he whispered.
Bianca smiled, making the day suddenly brighter, the intoxicating scent of the flowers that much stronger. “I want you to.”
Gio leaned in with anxious anticipation of tasting her mouth and kissed her—for a very long time. He didn’t need to breathe. He didn’t need anything anymore. This was all he needed—forever. To be lost in Bianca’s world, in her mouth, her kisses. He’d never felt happier in his life. Finally, he pulled his lips away from her, and instantly he was lost in her eyes. She smiled again. A smile so blissful—so content. “I love you, Bianca.”
“I love you too,” she whispered back.
The strong smell of coffee suddenly trounced the smell of the flowers.
Gio opened his eyes for a moment, annoyed that he’d been awakened from such a perfect dream. In the next second, he was smiling. The smell of coffee in his nose and the noise coming from the kitchen meant only one thing. It was morning, and in a few hours, he’d be holding and kissing Bianca again.
Springing from the bed, he’d never felt this eager to jump in the shower in his life. He took what was probably the fastest shower in the history of the world and even did a little dancing as he dried off and got dressed. It couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes between the time he got out of bed to the time he took one last look in the mirror before heading to the kitchen.
It was worse than the screeching sound of nails scraping across a chalkboard, because it wasn’t a sound. It’s what Gio’s insides felt like when he came around the corner. Bianca’s eyes met his before Felix’s. Her eyes said it all. She hadn’t been expecting this either. Gio’s eyes were immediately on Felix’s hands. One was holding hers, the other caressed her belly as he leaned in to kiss her.
“Gio,” Bianca said before Felix’s lips touched hers.
Felix turned, realizing they weren’t alone in the dining room and smirked. “Hey, dude. I’m back.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
The disappointment Gio felt, knowing he wouldn’t get to spend the day with Bianca after all, didn’t even come close to what he was feeling that very moment as he watched Felix pull Bianca in front of him, wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed Bianca’s temple, and she stared at Gio, her usual beautifully intense eyes now as lifeless as he felt. “You ready to train? I lost enough time already. So when they canceled this morning’s gig, I shot straight up here.”
Gio concentrated on Felix’s face, unable to look at Bianca anymore. “Sounds good.” He spun around, grateful for not having to stand there anymore and see Felix wrapped around Bianca for even another second.
“Nah, dude. Have breakfast with us first.”
“No.” It was abrupt and a bit too loud, but Gio didn’t care. He kept walking to his room, refusing to look back. His heart pounded erratically now. He turned his torso halfway back, lifting his hand but made sure he didn’t actually look at them. “That’s cool. If I’m gonna train, I’ll just grab some orange juice, maybe a protein shake. I forgot I gotta make a phone call too. You two have breakfast. I’ll meet you in the gym.”
Without waiting for a response from Felix, Gio rushed into his room and closed the door behind him. With his heart at his throat, he paced the room back and forth breathing harshly. “I can’t do this shit,” he muttered under his breath. “I can’t.”
Feeling like a madman, he stalked into the bathroom and stared at his red-rimmed eyes in the mirror. “Either you man the fuck up and do this or get the hell out now and never see her again.”
Before seeing her with Felix again today, he’d thought the latter would be worse, but after what he’d just experienced, he didn’t think anything could feel worse than that.
It was time to call Noah. Gio needed to be talked down before he slammed his fist through the mirror. Noah would be pissed. Gio knew he would. Last time he’d checked the number one unspoken rule between them all was you didn’t sleep with any of your friends exes. This wasn’t even Felix’s ex. This was his girl. But Gio hadn’t slept with her—yet. He knew now with every fiber of his being that if he ever got the chance to, he would in a heartbeat.
But what he’d thought yesterday when he rationalized that he shouldn’t still stood. If he ever did, that could really be trouble, because if he felt like a madman now, and all he’d done was kiss her, he couldn’t even imagine what his reaction to seeing her with Felix after he’d made her his would be. Because, damn it, if he ever did sleep with her she’d be his. As perverse as that sounded—there’d be no rationalizing with his heart at that point.
It occurred to him he should maybe go outside to make the call. He didn’t want Felix accidentally overhearing him. But the risk of running into them again and in a compromising position was one he was not willing to take. So he locked the bedroom door then went into the bathroom and locked that one too.
He ran his fingers through his hair after hitting speed dial, still trying to calm himself. It rang several times before Noah picked it up sounding a little breathless. “I’m in the middle of something. Can this shit wait?”
“No.” Gio and his friends rarely called each other. He knew Noah had to be wondering about his early morning call.
He heard Noah curse and the phone muffle while he said something. Then he heard Roni and Gio knew what he’d interrupted. “This better be important,” Noah barked, and if Gio wasn’t still reeling from seeing Bianca with Felix he might’ve laughed.
“It is.”
Gio heard doors open and close, and he knew Noah was walking through his house. “So what is it?”
Leaning back against the wall, Gio slid down until he was sitting on the cold floor. He rested his elbow on his knee and leaned his forehead against his fist. “You know that text you sent me that night after we had dinner at your house?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s true. What Roni and Nellie were talking about—it wasn’t then, but it is now.”
Noah was quiet for a moment then, “Are you kidding me, G?”
“Noah, I tried to fight it. I swear to you, but he left yesterday, and it’d just been building for some time now, and—”
“You slept with her?”
“No!”
“Then what? Wait. I need coffee for this shit.”
Gio waited for what seemed like forever, and then finally Noah spoke again. “All right, what happened?”
Gio gave him a quick rundown of how things just started building, how incredibly sweet she was, her amazing eyes, and what they did to him. He mentioned her licking her lips and then yesterday. Without giving him too much detail, Gio told him about how they’d made out the whole day but made sure to add, “But it’s not just a physical thing. I would’ve never gone for it if that’s all it was. You know me, man. I wouldn’t do something like that to Felix. She’s just different, Noah. I’ve never felt anything like this for any girl. The only connection I’ve ever had with a chick where I can actually talk so openly like this is maybe Roni, but that’s different. With Bianca—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back the fuck up. Roni?”
“No, not like that.”
“You just said it! A connection with Roni? Are you shitting me?”
“About watching our parents die from cancer. It was the only thing I could think of that even came close. Roni’s the only one who’s ever really gotten it when I told her about my dad dying.” Gio shook his head. “Okay, bad example. Maybe I shouldn’t have used Roni. That’s totally different.”
“Yeah, thank you. Can we not bring her into this conversation about you being tempted by your friend’s girl?”
Gio rolled his eyes. “Not tempted. It’s more than that. I wouldn’t be calling you if it was just a temptation. I have feelings for her now, and I didn’t even realize how bad I had it until I saw them together this morning.” He banged his head against the wall just thinking about it. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I feel like I need to get the hell out of here, but I can’t. I can’t just walk away now, but seeing them together …” He banged his head again. “It’s gonna drive me crazy. I almost lost it today.”
“Well, don’t do that.”
Gio shook his head. “This is impossible. Even if they did break up, it still wouldn’t be cool.”
“Look,” Gio heard Noah take a deep breath, “I’m gonna tell you what the girls’ theory was that night after you guys left. There are a few things you should consider before getting too caught up with her. First of all, what does she have to say about all this crap they’re saying about him and that other chick in Chicago?”
Gio pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nothing. She’s never talked about it and I’ve never brought it up. I don’t even know if she knows.”
“She’s gotta know,” Noah said quickly. “It’s funny that this chick who seems to be talking so openly and freely with you wouldn’t mention something this big to you. They’ve been talking about it all over. The girls had a theory.”
Gio didn’t say anything, but he didn’t like Noah’s tone when talking about “this chick,” so he waited.
“First thing, I will say they thought the attraction between you two went both ways. According to them, she seemed to have just as hard a time keeping her eyes off you as you did her.”
Gio waited for the big “but” he could feel coming.
“But they also wondered if she could possibly be doing this to get back at Felix for what he might be doing to her. Maybe she’s using you—”
“No.” Gio sprang to his feet. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“What else could it be, G? You really think she thinks this is gonna have a happy ending? Think about it.” He paused to take what sounded like a drink of his coffee.
Gio took the moment to pace in the spacious bathroom. Noah was starting to irritate him. Bianca was just as surprised by yesterday’s turn of events as he was. She’d planned this about as much as he had.
“If what the girls were saying is true,” Noah continued, “she’s the only one in this equation getting exactly what she wants—the famous rich boyfriend and his hot friend on the side.”
“Nope,” Gio said, stopping in front of the mirror as his insides began to ignite all over again. “This wasn’t planned.”
“It’s just something to consider.”
“Not considering it. Because it’s not true.” His irritation with Noah had just reached another level. “So Roni thinks I’m hot, huh?”
“All right!” Noah snapped. “Don’t be an idiot. I’m not trying to piss you off, but you gotta admit it’s a possibility.”
“That’s not Bianca, okay? If you knew her like I do now, you’d know why that’s not even a possibility. I’ve been with girls like that and Bianca isn’t one of them. So let’s just throw this little fucking theory of yours out the window, okay?”
Gio heard Noah let out a low whistle. “I guess you have fallen hard.”
He ran his hand through his hair, completely frustrated. “Yeah, and you of all people know what that feels like, so help me out here. What do I do?”
Noah exhaled. “Damn it. I had a bad feeling the moment you first told me she was even up there. Whatever happens, this isn’t gonna end well. You know that, right?” Gio nodded as if Noah could see him. “Have you talked to Felix?”
“About this?” Gio stared at his own stunned expression in the mirror.
“No. Remember we talked about maybe you telling him not to be such a heartless ass. He may not even be that into her. Maybe he is seeing that other chick in Chicago. Find out. It might not be such a big deal if you wait for him to dump Bianca and then go after her.”
That had been Gio’s only thread of hope since the beginning. But after getting to know Bianca even better, the idea that Felix wouldn’t really be into her seemed even more impossible now.
After talking to Noah for a little longer and not getting much more help, the only conclusion he’d come to was he needed to talk to Felix and find out exactly where things stood. How concrete was the relationship between him and Bianca? And what chance, if any, did Gio have of walking away from this with his heart still intact?