Fuck it!
I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again. I vowed to stop feeling sorry for myself, but here I am, sitting at Gianni’s desk with fresh tears streaming down my face. I should have held off on breaking down until I reached Tatiana’s part of the house. When she told me her father had the keys, I planned to grab them quickly and retreat to the bedroom. Instead, the moment I clutched the keys, all my suppressed emotions surged back.
Everything I managed to keep under control during the frantic packing and landlord negotiations came flooding out, and once the tears started, they wouldn't stop.
The reality of it all feels almost unbearable. All that remains are feelings—despair, anguish, heartbreak. The void in my chest widens with every thought. Yes, my relationship with Lucianowas deteriorating, and we were probably heading towards a breakup, but that doesn’t make the pain any less. He was my first love, my first serious relationship.
My despair quickly turns to anger. I don’t want to feel or think, but that's all I can do now. Another sob escapes me uncontrollably. My life is falling apart, and I can't seem to gather the pieces fast enough.
My heart pounds louder and louder. Every choice I've made has led me to this point—homeless, staying at my best friend's house. I feel like a charity case, overwhelmed with shame.
I choke back another sob, feeling more exposed and vulnerable in this room. I need to leave Gianni’s office now. The thought of him finding me like this is mortifying. I’d have to explain, and then…
“Excuse me.” That deep, gravelly voice I usually only hear in my dreams reaches my ears.
Oh, no. So much for slipping away unnoticed.
Embarrassment replaces my tears. This is a nightmare. I swipe at my cheeks, then drop my hands to my lap, hoping it will make me look less like I was crying. My cheeks are probably blotchy too.
Gianni's imposing figure fills the doorway. His face is a mask of fury, and for a moment, I forget to breathe. Is he angry with me? I’m acutely aware of my mistake, and the need to apologize overwhelms me.
“I’m sorry!” I croak, frantically wiping at my cheeks. My hands shake with anxiety. I was just supposed to get the keys, not turn his office into a place for emotional breakdowns. “I didn’t... I didn’t mean to. Tatiana said you had the keys, so I came to get them, but then the tears and…”
Jesus, this is a mess. I am a mess. A complete disaster.
“Whoa. Wait, hold on. I left them here, but don’t apologize. It’s okay.” He steps inside, placing the cup he’s holding on a small table near the door, then crosses the room.
His gaze is fixed on me, intense and penetrating.
He says it’s okay, but the fierce look in his eyes makes me hesitate. As he approaches, a warm flutter spreads through my belly. My old crush on him resurges with a new intensity. Even without his touch, I can feel my vulnerability and longing for him.
His perfectly sculpted body fills out his tailored suit in a way that makes my mouth water. He’s so tall.Have I never realized how much bigger he is than me before this point?I can’t look away, and I definitely shouldn’t be fantasizing about what he looks like naked beneath all that fabric. I drink him in, my eyes painting a photographic picture in my mind to save for later.
Sharp, strong jaw. High cheekbones. Firm, full lips. A few age lines crease his forehead as his brow furrows, but he doesn’t look a day over thirty-five. His dark hair is thick and styled in a sexy, no fucks given way.
I let my gaze drift down to his crotch, recalling the vivid memory of his thick, veiny cock.Jesus.I’m grateful for my flushed skin and tear-stained cheeks. It hides the furious blushing I’m doing for a completely different reason.
He comes to stand beside me. Maybe I should feel uncomfortable. That would be a normal reaction, but nothing about this is normal. I feel safe beside him.Guarded.I crane my neck back to look up at him; his masculine features are masked, but his green eyes are bright and bold.
I could stare at him for days. In my mind, he’s always been aGerald Butlerlookalike. I suck a choked breath into my lungs, and cinnamon and coffee cling to my nostrils. The spicy scent makes me want to lean into him, but I stop myself. He’s so close now that I can feel the heat of his skin radiating against mine.
I’m so caught up in his presence and my body’s reaction to him, I don’t realize he’s reaching for me until his hands close around my hips. I can feel his searing touch through the fabric of my clothes. He lifts me from the swivel chair with all the effort it takes to lift a feather and sets me down on the edge of the mahogany desk. My head spins when he drops into the leather chair in front of me, his knees nearly touching mine.