"Keep it together, honey, and force him to take it," Tanner said, gently coaxing me. He held Jaimie's head while I nudged his mouth with my wet nipple, and after a few more failed attempts, Jaimie finally latched onto it and started sucking hungrily.
The relief was overwhelming as I watched my baby breastfeed. I looked up at Tanner's face and he dropped down his head to kiss my forehead. I closed my eyes and reveled in the moment of sheer bliss and relief, even as my body still trembled and tears still ran down my cheeks at what just happened.
It didn't take long for Jaimie to fall asleep. I walked into the room and laid him on the bed. Afterwards, I walked out of the sitting room to find Tanner still standing there, looking so big and safe.
"Hey...." He opened his arms and I ran straight to him.
"Oh, Tann! I was so scared...!" I cried, holding onto him tightly. He enfolded me into his arms, patting my shoulders comfortingly as I cried. He whispered soothing words that I couldn't make out through the roaring in my ears.
I didn't know how long we stood there, how long I felt so safe tucked away in his arms, but I didn't want to let go.
The feeling lasted for the few seconds it took for him to lift my shivering form into his arms and head for the sofa. I wrapped my arm gratefully around his neck, holding on tight.
So tight, that I never want to let go.
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1. MAKING MEMORIES AND RECALLING THE PAST.
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XAZIX
Anya had spent the day with Mark and most of the evening with me. She had finished dinner and gone to sleep in the room that we shared. After checking on her, I left the room and found Mark sitting at the dining table with his laptop open. As I walked closer, he looked up at me.
"X-man."
I asked him what he was working on and he replied with, "I have a bounty to catch in the next two weeks."
This piqued my interest, "You have a job?"
He nodded once and stared intently at his laptop. "There's an elusive criminal on the run. The FBI is calling me in."
"Dangerous," I remarked. Our line of work was always dangerous.
"When are they ever anything else?" He deadpanned.
I rubbed the back of my neck and said, "I'm going back to my brother's tomorrow, and I'm taking Anya with me like I promised."
He paused typing briefly to stare at me carefully, then he nodded again and resumed typing. "I'll admit that the girl isn't half as bad as I expected. Spending today with her, I guess I came to realize a lot of things."
"Yeah, she has that effect on people," I thought, remembering Jasamina McCully. I had never known that I would ever come across a mission that I would never want to accomplish until I met Jasamina McCully. Anya was like that girl, only younger. I knew I was making the right decision taking Anya with me. They would have each other and not feel as lonely after I left with Tanner.
"Today, I had the strangest urge," Mark said, drawing my attention back to him. "I had the urge to take in Anya and raise her."
I was shocked. Mark was known to have an aversion for women, so this revelation was surprising.
"But, then again, it's not possible. I know zero knowledge about living with anyone...talk more of a girl. I have no idea how to associate well with the female gender unless it involves tumbling the sheets for a wild ride." His lips curved into a mirthless smile. "Besides, I'm a man that lives on dangerous missions. I can't imagine leaving her here for two months or so to roam the jungles. It's no responsibility I can take on."
I nodded in understanding. Mark and I had been loners for so long, especially Mark.
"I'll take the girl to Jasamina McCully. They will have each other. Can you do me a favor?" I asked carefully.
"Anything."
"Check on the both women from time to time. Serve as their protector whenever you can, especially Anya. Please, I'll really be grateful if you can do this."
I told Mark about Jasamina McCully, and he had nodded his head in affirmation that I did the right thing by leaving the girl on her own.
"Her husband is a ratcase," Mark had groaned angrily and even declared that we would have stopped being friends if I had any thoughts of continuing the mission.
Now, Mark shut down the laptop and nodded without hesitation. "I'll keep an eye on them whenever I can. They can even visit here whenever they want."
That made me smile, "Anya really got to you, man. In just two days."
Mark didn't smile, instead, he was in thought. He stared at the door of her room. "There is something about that little girl.... Sometimes, I stare at her face and see Vixenda. The only difference is that I don't feel so much hatred when I stare at Anya. I must be crazy, but that girl reminds me of Vix a lot."