Lucianna’s POV
I heard Jacob’s voice while Harley was talking. The Gamma reported that Roscoe came to visit and that we talked in private but he didn’t add things that will complicate a mind. Though I doubt Jacob will think odd of his brother’s visit, given the situation we are in.
My breathing got heavy when the two nodded their goodbyes and Jacob looked my way. Exactly at me, in my eyes, as if he knew I’m standing there and watching them.
My reflexes say I should hide, away from his soulless eyes but I can’t. I didn’t. Instead, I walked towards the front door where Jacob were also headed. Jacob stopped just outside the door, right in front of me and I stopped inside, a step away from him.
We stood there, eyes locked with each other and I have no idea what’s working on his head. Jacob shows no expression, same thing he has been doing since what had happened. And I can’t read his thoughts, nor his feelings.
Is he waiting? I think he’s waiting for me to speak, to tell him something because he knew I have something to say.
I am certain I can’t just blurt out the news to him, Jacob your brother suggested that I undergo an abortion to buy some fucking time. No, certainly not.
“I made dinner.” was what I managed to whisper. I had to clear my throat and blink twice after my oh so weak voice.
His eyes watched my mouth as I spoke, and now his eyes travelled on my hair, to the side of my face, to my nose and then back at my squinting eyes.
He’s checking me out as if something might’ve changed while he was away.
Jacob took a deep breath, closing his eyes in the process and then smirked. “Can’t wait for dinner.” he said in a low voice, followed by a low growl. My forehead creased but I stepped aside so he could come inside.
“Are you alright?” I asked, frowning. “You’re acting weird.”
Jacob walked inside, took his jacket off and fixed his long sleeve up to his elbow. He glanced at me for a second then shook his head. “Just hungry, baby.” he smirked again and headed to the kitchen. I followed silently.
The constant clenching of his jaw didn’t escape my observation. Jacob seems like he was holding something in. But I did not try to ask nor did I talked to him at all. We started eating in silence and I kept my eyes on my plate most of the time. When I look up to catch a glance at him, I kept founding his eyes fixed on mine. Whether he was chewing or sipping on his glass of drink.
It was weird, alright? I can’t deny the dark edges creeping to my skin just by the way he looks at me.
I was more like a prey in those midnight black eyes of him…
Our dinner miraculously ended in peace and when Jacob put his spoon down, I almost jumped when he spoke.
“So Roscoe came…” he started.
I cleared my throat and grabbed my glass of water. I feel like the food I ate wanted to come back up until I puke my stomach out.
“What is it that he wanted this time?”
There, from that moment, I know something is definitely wrong.
“You’re not Jacob.” I stated.
The amount of his dark aura oozing out of his body and consuming me is too much. Its not just intimidating, its more suffocating. Making one hard to breath.
Jacob chuckled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” then he stood up and slowly moved closer to me.
I sat up straight, my muscles hardening involuntarily.
“Though what I know is I’d been fighting myself while I’m around you.” his hand touches my cheek carefully. I gasped. His palm were so hot than his normal temp. “My head is full of things I wanted and not wanted to do to you.”
I closed my eyes and drew out a breath. “Was it the darkness? Is it taking over?”
He pretty much might’ve been possessed by it though I still can’t tell for certain.
Jacob’s hand slipped off my face and he leaned his arm on the back of my chair, bending forward so I have no space for myself.
I can feel his hot breath on my face, his uneven breathing, the sound of his heartbeat loud and fast inside his chest.
“If wanting you so bad is the darkness, then I was taken over a long time ago.” he whispered, his lips brushing on my earlobe and made me shiver. “So no,” he stood up and step back. “I find you irresistible that it was so hard to breathe.” he sighed.
I gulped hard. I can’t deny that I felt him. I’m affected and aroused as he is. Especially that my head is leveled with his growing arousal that its hard to ignore it.
Jacob groaned and I flushed upon the thought that he caught me gawking into his manhood. Stop fueling the fire, Lucianna!
“Let’s discuss what dear brother told you before the night become long for us.”
**
Jacob insist on helping with the dishes but I shooed him away. I needed time to breath before telling him the idea that Roscoe planted in my head. Or maybe I needed the time to think if I should discuss the idea with him at all.
He waited in the porch and I constantly steal a few glances towards him. He was drowned in his thoughts while playing with the glass of scotch in his hand.
I replayed what I saw of him since this morning. Yes, he was so into it. The way he looked at me as if I was his meal may seem like he’s under the power of the curse but no, he is salivating over me. Hungry for action, wanting for more of what we shared.
The feelings he have mirrors to me now and its continuously flowing. I swallowed hard, followed by a deep sigh. My thighs tightens as if the grip will lessen what I’m starting to feel. The mate bond suddenly become strong that I felt being pulled by Jacob.
And his low groan that I heard from our distance tells me I’m not the only one feeling it.
My nostrils flared as I stomped my feet towards the porch. Jacob’s black eyes met mine, his eyes hooded and clearly show how he submit to the pull.
“Are you doing this on purpose?” I barked but my legs were trembling. I’m trying my best to fight the urge I know he’s suffering in too.
He placed his glass down and pulled me in his lap. I dropped like a vegetable, my knees are already weak and Jacob has the strength. This is the wicked power of the bond, one that female won’t benefit from..
“I won’t force sex on you.” his hand on my thigh tightened. “I’m as powerless as you are when it come to the pull and you know it, baby.”
The hairs on my nape raised from the way his hand massaged on my thigh and his voice whispers deep into me. I almost moaned but stopped doing so by closing my eyes shut, slightly leaning the side of my head on Jacob’s face.
“But you’re not fighting it.” I said through gritted teeth. Yes, I’m fighting the urge, and yes, I am not winning the battle.
“That I am.” he confirmed. His other hand that was circled on my stomach started its way under my clothes. The hand stopped just below my breast while its thumb caressed its way to brush on my nipple.
This time, I let out a groan.
“Jacob we need to talk.” I almost growl, grabbing his hand under my shirt and pulling myself away from his grip. I managed to move away, panting hard as I stumble on my feet and tries to stand straight and still.
Which I awfully failed to do so I just leaned on a wall nearby.
Fuck! I’m too weak against this nerve-wrecking strikes!
Jacob smirked as he watches me through his lashes. He’s enjoying this and I don’t know how he can do that.
“I can’t believe you’re succumbing to the pull when it’s the same reason that we’re in this---” I breathe in, not able to find the right words. Sighing, I shut my eyes closed. “Just stop it.”
The way he looked at me has changed, from giving in to the bond’s pull to something resenting. His nose flared and looked away, the sight made me regret what I said.
He grabbed the glass of liquor he had earlier, spilling some of it. “Let’s hear what you have to say then.” his jaw clenched before gulping the alcohol in one go.
I clicked my tongue and asked myself one last time if I should talk it over with Jacob. But then, I knew lying or keeping secrets won’t help us this time.
“Roscoe came with a temporary solution--”
“The word ‘temporary’ cut off my interest, Lucianna.”
“Still. At least hear it out. I wanted to discuss this with you, I don’t want to decide alone.”
Jacob was still looking afar and I got no answer aside from his tightened jaw. So I continued.
“He said we can buy ourselves some time. In three months, I will give birth to the pup and that amount of time is not enough to find the answers we all looking for.”
Jacob sighed and leaned on the hammock, closing his eyes as if he was tired of hearing more.
The tension between our urges also subsided, a bit. It is there but Jacob cooperate with fighting against the pull so we’re both less burdened by it.
“There is no way we could stop time, so its not what my brother was suggesting. Am I right?” Jacob asked, eyes were still closed.
“Yes. He has an alternative.”
Jacob stood up and faced me. His eyes pierced through me and it scared me. The way he walked closer made me want the wall on my back to fucking absorb me whole.
“Let me guess,” he spoke through gritted teeth. “Killing the pup? Abortion? Is that it?”
He was furious that shock waves of his wrath are seen by naked eyes. I held my breath but I didn’t took my eyes off his slicing one.
Jacob let out a chuckle, low and dangerous as he found the idea ridiculous. I hissed quietly.
“I know its ridiculous, okay?” I growled and met his eyes fiercely. “I’m discussing this with you for a reason, Jacob.”
“Ah-huh?” he leaned one of his arm on the wall just beside my face. I’m suffocated, not just by our closeness but of his controlled rage. “What reason exactly? Because from the looks of it, you already entertained this fucking murder in your head!” his nose flared as his voice raised. My eyes closed unintentionally, blinking twice and letting out a breathe.
I looked away because that’s all I can think of doing right now. “I’m not.” the trembling of my voice ratted my own resolve.
I did. Fuck. I did entertained the idea as doable, something that can buy us time.
“Look at me.” Jacob ordered but I couldn’t. My eyes fixed its gaze on the floor, on the bench, on the bush, anywhere but his eyes. “Fucking look at me, Lucianna.” he held my chin and forced me to face him.
I couldn’t fight back and my powerless eyes looked right at his raging one.
Our breathes lingered between us. My breast pressing hard on his, his thigh settling on the middle of my legs and our eyes locked together is not a good combination.
The fire residing inside our deepest depths were fueled immediately. My throat burns, suddenly feeling thirsty for something undefined yet I knew very well.
“Feel that?” he hissed and his other hand moved to snake on my waist, drawing me closer. “Aborting the child may buy us some time but trust my word that this fucking attraction will push us to make another child.”
He lowered his head, brushing his lips on mine that I opened my mouth in anticipation.
“And I don’t care if the pup you’re carrying is the baddest of all villain, I’m not agreeing to murder it.”
His words made me feel like I’m the worst person in the world. Tears started forming in my eyes but I held it. He is right, everything he said was sharp on its point but I fear his life will come to end because of the darkness that awaits us.
“I-I can move away for some time--”
“You mean, run away, Lucianna.” he corrected and now he crushed me on the wall, so hard but also so good that I can’t help myself to moan. “What fucking made you think I won’t run just behind you?” he groaned, feeling the same friction that he has given me.
“Jacob…” I tried pushing him away.
“Drop whatever bomb my brother planted in your head, Lucianna. Its not gonna work, I’m not going to let you murder your own child and regret it the rest of your life.”
He slowly pushed himself away from me and I inhaled deep for oxygen as if I was short of it.
“What about you? So its okay now that you will die? By whose decision? Yours? Jacob, I’m against into killing my own child but if it has to save you---”
He held my cheek and the rage is gone on his eyes now. They were soft, kind and alive.
“We’ll save me some other day, baby.” he offered a sad smile, making my tears fall down my cheek as hope started to raise inside my chest. “Now give me a kiss, I’m dying for it.”
I gave him just that.
We’re not gonna buy us some time, then I hope time won’t be too eager to buy us.