"Say it again," he growled and I stared at him in a hazy state of mind.
"Damien..." I moaned and his mouth went back to my wanton pussy. I squirmed as he sucked my clit, then fucked my pussy with his tongue. I wanted him. Clear as day, I craved him.
"Please..." I moaned as his tongue kept working on my pussy.
"God I love it when you beg," he murmured, the vibrations sending unknown sensations across my clit.
"Please Damien..." I drawled out again and this time, his tongue worked faster. He added one finger, pumping me fast. I was nearly there... Oh fuck.... I knew I would orgasm soon and he knew it too.
"Come for me baby," he growled and I froze for a minute before falling apart. I moaned loudly as I came. Once I came down from the high I stared at him in disbelief. Did he just...? Did he call me baby? But there was no emotion on his face which suggested that he might have. Maybe it was bunny. Yeah, Bunny. Not Baby.
I couldn't help the spurt of disappointment that flowed through me. For the first time since I found out we were mates, I questioned his feelings. Did he even want me as his mate? Was I nothing more than a fuck toy to him? I could feel myself cutting him off. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry.
I pushed him off and picked up my comforter from the ground. I couldn't ignore his dumbfound expression as I wrapped the blanket around me and curled up on the bed.
"Hanna?" he asked, unsure. I could hear it in his voice.
I didn't say anything. I wanted to bawl out my eyes, but with him here I couldn't. I couldn't even get comfortable.
"Get out," I muttered.
"What?" his voice held confusion. As if he hadn't heard me right.
"Get out," I repeated, my voice a little stronger.
"What's wrong?" he asked coming to sit next to me.
"Why do you care?" I gritted out and suddenly I was on my back and he was towering me.
"What the fuck happened Hanna?" he growled.
Usually, I would be scared to death of him by now. I would spill my guts and tell him everything. I would tell him whatever it was that was bothering me. But right now, I didn't even care.
"Nothing. I just want to sleep." I said making my voice as nonchalant as possible.
"Don't give me that bullshit!" he growled.
"Go away Mr. Alpha," I sighed. "Or is it master?"
His eyes widened.
"What brought this on?" he asked, still stunned.
"Nothing. I need alone time. Please leave."
He didn't say anything. He got up and left. He didn't even turn back once. Once I heard the front door shut, my tears flowed down. I felt so ....used. I have never felt that way before. I could only imagine what I looked like right now. A wanton whore. I was putty in his hands. I was probably nothing more than an easy lay for him.
He was the Alpha. Alpha Damien Black. His name screamed power. He commanded respect. Of all the things I had heard about him before meeting him, one thing stood out now. He never wanted a mate. I heard one of the women at my workplace say so. He didn't want a mate. Of course, why would he? He had everything. He didn't have to have a mate.
I was an unnecessary burden on him. Someone who he didn't want, but had to keep because he made a mistake. This was way worse than getting knocked up. At least that could be done alright with some form of treatment. But this mating... My tears flowed harder as I thought about it.
I remembered the Elder's words. What did he mean? I was obviously not needed. He didn't even trust me enough to tell me about his mess up. Yes, his goddamn mess up. He didn't have the sense to stop before the bond was formed. And now I was suffering for it.
I cried for some more time before finally loosing myself to thankfully a dreamless slumber.
I woke up some time to a hand stroking my hair. I opened my eyes groggily to see Damien in front of me. I gasped. When did he...? How long was he here? Oh my, what did I look like right now? I was sure I looked like shit. Or maybe a cat ran on me.
"Are you okay now?" he asked and I flinched at the caring tone.
"What do you want?" I shot out. "I'm pretty unavailable at the moment so I suggest that you go find someone else who will be happy to be your little fuck buddy."
His eyes darkened with anger. "Excuse me?" he hissed and I glared at him.
"What? Isn't it the truth? You want some, you go find some."
"I am here for you," he gritted out. His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge between his eyes.
"Oh? And why is that?" I shot out sarcastically.
"Because I couldn't bear the thought of sitting at my desk knowing that I had somehow upset you."
The world stopped. He...just said that. That...made me want to reach up and hug him, but I didn't.
"Well, you didn't upset me. I was just sleepy. As you can see, I'm very fine now. Please let yourself out." I didn't care how bitchy I was being.
"Don't even lie to me Hanna," he stated. "I've been sitting outside your room for the last three hours hearing you cry. And not knowing why you're crying is killing me."
I gasped. He was there the entire time? He was standing outside me room. Listening to me cry.
"I thought you left," I accused.
"I did. But I couldn't make it past your street." his voice was unnaturally soft. I didn't even want to risk looking at him.
"Why were you crying Hanna?" he asked pulling my face up to meet his eyes.
I tried to look away but I couldn't. For the love of all that is holy I couldn't.
"I..." I started but stopped because I didn't know what to say.
"Why?" his voice was a harsh whisper. It made me feel like crying again.
"Because I felt like a fucking fuck toy!" I yelled at him. His face showed pure surprise. "I feel like a booty call! Whenever you feel like please come and do whatever you want! I don't want this! I want normalcy! I want to know what the fuck is happening. You don't tell me. Your Elder won't tell me. I am supposed to do whatever the fuck you say! Why? Who are you? You aren't my mate, you aren't ---"
Before I could finish my little speech his lips were on mine. Silencing me. As much as I tried not to kiss him back, my mouth obviously won the battle. I found myself holding on to him like he was air. My hands grasped the end of his shirt and I kissed him back with all I could.
He pulled back and looked into my eyes. "You are not my fuck toy. You need to fuck someone to be their fuck toy."
I almost died and went to heaven. "I'm sorry," I muttered.
"Don't be. Get dressed. I'll whip up some dinner."
I nodded. He kissed me chastely on the lips before leaving the room. I put on a pair of clean underwear and jeans and a blouse before walking down. I could hear shuffling in the kitchen and when I entered I almost gasped.
He looked so domestic. He was cooking something and it smelled delicious.
"Can I help?" I asked.
He just shook his head. I didn't know what to do so I just sat down on the table on let him do whatever. We had a quite dinner. None of us talking. After dinner I went back to my room and he followed me.
"Can I stay the night?" he asked and I shrugged. He got out of his pants and shirt. He was only in his boxers. The mere sight of him this way did unthinkable things to me.
I slipped in the bed and he raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't say anything. He slipped in after me and brought me to his side.
I pretended to fall asleep. Until I heard his deep breathing. I knew I had to make my move and do something. To make him fess up. I slowly slipped out of the bed.
And I did the only thing I could. I left.
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